Oh, shit. Hold up.
Extra large slush puppies? Really?
You know, I don't care what they say. You guys know how to party.
Seriously. Seriously.
I hate this town.
You kidding me, man?
Hey, whatever drugs everyone's on seem to be working pretty well.
Is this the big reward?
I mean, did we really not get invited to any graduation parties?
Come on. If you don't get invited to a single party for four years straight...
- you don't generally get invited... - Yeah, it's graduation.
You graduate together as a class, so you'd think after
- Dude, we traded cool for college. - Yeah, I...
All I'm saying is I'm looking at this thing...
and I don't feel as good as the people out there do.
We're just sitting here.
- Bro, what were you expecting? - I don't know.
Something cool?
I'll just take us home.
- Hello, Andy. - Hey, Yaco.
Have you been looking forward to another summer as much as I have?
Last year you were only a janitor.
- Groundskeeper, actually. - But this year you're a pro.
You realize this could only happen with my blessing.
You are my beggar apostle and I am your Christ.
Well, I appreciate you putting in a good word with the board.
After lunch, you'll be teaching the beginner ladies classes...
and Salvatore will be handling the men.
Okay. Cool.
Any tips for the new guy?
Do not let the women chat with each other.
Once they start, they learn nothing.
You have to be a man.
Yeah, my dad says that too.
One more time, punch!
Guys, in the post apocalyptic future...
in which we survive by eating cats and the elderly...
you will need to know how to punch. Stop smiling.
In the future, smiling will be seen as a sign you wish to be eaten.
Hai!
As a parting thought, remember...
the prickliest cactus can still give you water.
Class dismissed.
What did that cactus thing mean?
What do you think it means?
- Something scary can be good? - That's right.
Don't be afraid of something for how it looks...
because it might be special inside.
- Hey, you. - Hi.
Oh, Olive, you know this lady?
- She's my cousin. - Hey, hey, I'm just making sure.
Rival dojos are trying to steal my students all the time...
because you're the best.
I'm Tinsley. Olive's mom asked me to pick her up.
How's it going? I'm the Lion.
I haven't seen you before.
Yeah, I come here every summer.
- I haven't seen you before. - Oh, yeah. I'm one of the locals.
Oh, wow. I don't think I've ever met a local.
Oh, yeah, they hide us during the summer
so we don't upset the tourists.
The Lion should come to your party.
Yes, I'm having a party
at my parents' house... on the Point this afternoon.
You should come.
I'm sorry, you inviting me to a party?
- Yeah, I am. - But... But I'm me.
You can bring whoever you want. I'll see you later today.
- Bye. - Take care.
- Thank you. - I'll see you guys.
- Was it fun? - Yeah.
You are the man, Lion! Good looks! Good looks!
Wow. You weren't even nervous, bro. All right.
No, I was pretty nervous.
So, Andy...
have you heard anything from your imaginary Indian pen pal?
Yes, she actually wants to come to the Cape in August
before she goes to UCLA.
But apparently it's $2,0
to get her here from Mumbai... in the summer.
So, I wanna figure out a way to help.
So, out of curiosity, when she emails you...
does it go to your spam folder and you have to drag it out?
Yeah. Sometimes. Because she's from a far away place.
- Okay, have you guys Skyped at all? - No.
She's from a remote area and...
her family's computer doesn't have a working camera.
It's not a scheme, you guys. Okay? She exists.
Bro, I still don't entirely understand how you met her.
I told you a million times. She's an econ nerd too...
she posts comments on a website that I read...
and I emailed her that I like her ideas. And we hit it off.
It's a murderer.
These are the last months of your life, bro.
Let's say that this girl is real.
She's gonna have way more experience than you.
Okay, Cleopatra, how do you know that?
Under what scenario could a human being on this earth...
not have more experience than you?
I've been-I've done things.
- India has the Kama Sutra, bro. - Exactly. India has the Kama Sutra.
Yeah. They like to fuck sideways and shit, bro.
That's intimidating for anybody. It is.
I'm not intimidated.
- Did that shirt shrink in the wash? - No, I don't know.
I can't really figure out what happened.
- Oh, yes! - Wow! Crazy.
Just a little something new I'm working with.
If I can't impress my friends,
there's no way I'm gonna be impressing The Food Network, so dig in.
Hell yeah, this looks great. Guys, guys, guys...
I waited until we were all together to bring this up, but...
- I have information. - About what?
About a party on the Point.
To be specific, I have an invitation
to a party on the Point this afternoon.
And I can bring anyone I want!
Okay, calm down. Who invited you to the Point?
- I've never been on the Point. - Yeah, me neither.
You're sure this is true? We are invited to an actual party?
Oh, bro, bro, bro, bro. No, it's real.
And it starts today and goes all night.
I'm assuming. I'm assuming.
I don't know, man. I gotta finish up here after lunch.
I have an 11:00 curfew
so it's like it doesn't even really make sense to go.
Two no's immediately from the group?
I mean, you're going to Harvard. Why do you need a curfew?
Curfews are for riot zones and crumbling dictatorships...
- not for us. - A bit dramatic.
Lion, what would happen if you missed your curfew today?
Huh? You're going to MIT on scholarship.
You know, my parents actually don't get home
until like 4 a.m. most weekends.
I'm starting to think they're swingers, man.
Stanford bound, Spice. You?
I've been here 'til 2:00 before.
My parents will probably just think I'm here.
- There you go. - What are you trying to say, bro?
Dude!
- You know I have to clean that up, right? - That was bad ass!
- Yes! - Yes!
- Breaking stuff! - You know I work here.
I'm sorry about the glass. I'm trying to make a point.
The reason that we never partied in high school
is because... we wanted to get out of here.
And now we are.
And I feel like I missed out on some experiences...
and I know you guys do too.
Lion, what do you wish you'd done?
Ancient Asians took this mushroom called the Fly Agaric...
by feeding it to reindeer and drinking its urine for psychedelic effects.
What?
You're talking about doing some drugs.
Put some drugs in you.
Nora, what do you want to do?
I think it would have been cool to have a boyfriend.
- Why are you laughing? - I don't think we knew that.
It's not that uncommon a thing.
- Go get yourself a boyfriend. - Wow
, thank you for your approval, Andy.
Spice, talk to me.
You know, I'm ready to hook up with a girl.
- I need release. - Release, release.
Say no more. We know what that means.
- I hear ya, I do. - What I'm saying is this afternoon
starting at this party...
we do all the things that we wished we'd done the last four years.
Drinking, drugs, sex with girls.
Release yourself. Relationships.
I want hard miles. I don't want to go to college...
as some lamb being led to slaughter.
I don't want to be boring anymore.
From now on, this is the summer of yes.
Let's just say, yes.
- Say yes. - Yes.
- Spice. - Hell yes.
- Yes! - Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
All right! Welcome to summer.
Okay, Gabby, here we go.
Whoa, Gabby!
I love your visor, Mrs. Jones.
Here's our star player right here. This is our star tennis player.
You just dance around the court.
That winter was too long, huh? Too long.
Nice. Strong. Beautiful stroke.
That's way over there. That's a bench shot.
We'll give you a couple points for hitting the bench.
Okay, Gabby, here we go.
Now, Gabby, you're doing this, right?
And we're gonna need more of just like a, sort of like a this.
Right? You're doing sort of...
Good group. Great group. Wow.
- Andy? - Yeah?
- When did you turn 18? - January.
- Happy Birthday. - It was...
You know what?
You should come over for drinks sometime.
18's the drinking age in most of the world.
I should have been born foreign.
Being a tennis pro automatically makes you foreign.
Well, then, ca c'est parfait.
- You're not! - Thinking...
Andy, do you teach private tennis lessons?
Don't all pros?
In my experience.
Why in the world would Danya be sending bikini pictures to you...
that early in the morning on a Sunday, bro?
She is an insomniac. That's why.
And it's not unusual for her to email me late.
You are so talking to a guy sitting in his attic...
in Worcester wearing clown makeup.
Let's do this, guys.
Here we go.
Let me see.
Right here. The Lion. Great.
You guys have a good time and be safe, okay? We'll see ya.
- All right! Letting me in. - Okay.
We're gonna go to a party.
I just think that this is it's crazy that this is in our town.
- You know what I mean? - I know. This actually exists here...
- like minutes away from us. - Right.
It's like if George Washington and Norman Rockwell fucked...
and had kids and they had houses.
- Oh, dude. - Wow.
I finally know how bad our lives suck.
- This is crazy. - Massive!
That is a shitload of individuals.
Can I just park here?
If you're gonna park here, Andy, you have to be really care Seriously.
- He's gonna hit the... - Oh, what a nice spot we got!
- Should we like kick it for 5, 20 minutes? - No, we're going in.
Just say yes.
Say yes.
- Wow. - I am prairie-dogging heavy right now.
I don't know what to do with my hands.
I think-should we just go...? Yeah, we go right in there, right?
Everybody's... yeah.
Hey, oh, nice. So where are the drinks?
- Yes. Okay, cool. - Right.
- I feel like I could have told you that. - You're the man, bro. Okay.
- Do you have beers too? - Yeah. Let's go.
- We don't belong here. - Yes we do.
All right? We're just uncomfortable
because we don't have drinks in our hands.
Let's go.
Hey, look. The drinks are up there.
- What are you doing? - No idea.
Oh, shit...
Okay. Okay. Drinks.
Starting now, yes to everything.
- Yes! - Yes!
Yes! Yes!
- Dude! - I'm gonna...
- Fire in my body. - I'm gonna throw up!
There's a fire in my body.
No, seriously, I wouldn't lie about Midgetville.
And for the record, we wish it was called something else too.
But maybe we can be the change.
I don't know what I'm saying.
These guys are different.
That was it.
- Dragon. - Oh.
Nora! I thought I saw you. Come have a cigarette.
- No, I don't... - Come on.
Of course I do. 'Cause it's the summer of yes.
- So pretty. - Do you have a...? Tinsley, this is Nora.
- Hey. Hi. Tinsley. - Hi.
- We work at the lab together. - Thank you.
Well, that's so You're here. We're both here.
Yeah. I'm staying down the road with some friends...
- and their son dragged me along. - Oh, cool.
I think I'm the oldest person here by about 10 years.
I love your dress, by the way.
God, I wish I had boobs like yours.
There's no way.
It's the hardest dessert to make in the world.
No, I'm telling you, Spice could make a souffl? Right now...
and it would be delicious.
It would instantly collapse. This party's loud.
No. No. Okay, I bet you $100...
$100, that I could make a souffl? Right now...
and it will stay standing. It will not collapse.
You're on.
$100.
Hey, give me those mitts! Is that flour?
Oh. That's cocaine.
What are your hidden talents, Andy?
My hidden talents. Well, it's pretty useless, but...
I can catch food thrown from any distance...
in my mouth.
- Okay. - Oh, you're gonna do it.
Okay.
You can go bigger than that.
Okay, wait. Okay, wait. On time. I'm serious.
I'm not missing a round right now. Come on!
I catch stuff. I catch stuff in my mouth!
I catch marshmallows in my mouth!
Is he doing high Tai Chi?
High Chi.
She's saying yes.
The summer of yes. This is good. This is good.
I don't like cold water.
So maybe we can take our clothes off inside.
Yes. Yes.
It is risen!
I am the greatest chef on this planet!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Consider comping the check?
We can think of something.
Take off those mittens.
Hey.
Hi.
I think this is the part where you take your clothes off too.
Yeah, me. Yeah.
Yeah.
- You're like freakishly tall, huh? - Yeah.
That's a really cool bag. Or is it a clutch or...?
You haven't done this before, have you?
No.
And I actually need like 10,000 practice hours before August.
Malcolm Gladwell, "Outliers"?
- Yeah. I need to be an expert. - Why?
I have this Indian girl coming to visit me.
- They have the Kama Sutra. - I... exactly.
But, I'm sorry, I'm like talking about another girl and...
On the bed. Now.
Yes. On the bed.
Relax.
We can at least knock a couple of minutes
off those 10,000 hours.
Are you gonna keep doing that face?
What? I know, it's...
I feel like making out on the beach...
- is less comfortable than it looks on TV. - Yeah.
- Your body is amazing. - Really?
- Yes. - Whoa. Thank you.
- It's new. Yeah. - Yeah.
I understand what you want
but I'm not a hand job machine.
I have to feel special about someone before I give them a hand job.
I thought the souffl? Was special.
If you had tried some subtlety...
instead of moving your hips all creepily...
you would have got one.
- But... - Go fuck your souffl?!
Where have you been? We have been worried.
Sorry.
What have you been up to tonight?
Not too much. Good night.
Please just send me to my room.
Thank you.
What do you think happened to him?
I don't know, but I'm jealous.
Oh, geesh.
Feel free to pass me a new skull, man. Honestly.
Yeah. No, I can feel my brain decaying lobe by lobe.
Andy! Hey, Andy!
- Dude! - Oh! There we go!
But why are people throwing food at you?
Oh, you were skinny dipping with a 30-year-old man...
during my performance. It was glorious.
- When'd you get a body, anyway? - Last night.
- That's pretty crazy. Finally a girl. - Thank you.
Must have been awkward today with your co-worker.
No. No. We're gonna actually hang out again later this week.
- Alone? - Yeah. Summer of yes.
Are you hanging out with anybody alone, Lion?
Oh, just some guys who have an opium connection.
Well, you guys had fun.
I don't think that girl wants to see me again.
- No release? - Not a drop.
But I did get us invited to another party on a dock.
Two rich girls invited me.
- Boom. - Round two.
- Really? - Yeah, man.
Guys, guys, have we somehow become cool?
Whoa, ho, ho.
- Hey. - Hey, you again.
I'm actually here to teach a lesson.
And to pick up my car from the party. We walked home.
Lion swam, I think.
See ya.
Gabby, it's Andy. It's lesson time.
Gabby, are you in here?
I'm almost done.
I left your money on the night table.
Okay. Okay, cool.
- I'm so glad you could come. - Me too.
It's weird. I didn't see your court, coming in here.
That's because there is no court.
Holy shit. Gabby. Wait, Gabby, what are you doing?
Gabby. Gabby. Gabby.
- Shut up, Andy. - Okay.
- Five times? - Five times.
It's like the Olympics or something.
The vaga-thalon.
Hey, hey. All right.
Hey, now.
What kind of tennis lesson takes three hours?
Oh, we were just working on strokes.
Techniques.
Forehand, backhand, grips.
See ya.
I think the Lion is taking acid.
Yeah, he said he wants to push his body to his limits.
Does Tai Chi help with fighting?
Bruce Lee once said...
"A wise man can learn more from a foolish question...
than a fool can learn from a wise answer."
Have you ever used it to fight?
When it's finally time for me to fight, I'll know.
Oh, geez. Look at that.
Who's this guy? Who is he?
I mean, is he her boyfriend now or something?
What kind of Australian is named Erland?
Who cares? She's happy.
He's 12 years older than her.
Yeah, if I was 30-years
old, I'd be wanting to nail 18-year-olds too, man.
- Guy's a creep. - Holy shit.
You like Nora.
I like... Are you out of your mind?
She's been my friend since I was born.
Yeah, and until recently she's dressed like a guy and...
you look like an acupuncture needle. You're jealous.
Look, I don't know what I'm feeling.
You poor sensitive tragic soul, you.
Three days ago, a 42 year old woman paid me to have sex with her.
- No. - Yeah.
Private tennis lesson.
I got two more scheduled with her this week.
- How's that for sensitive? - Not sensitive at all. Holy shit, man!
You know how I'm gonna prove to you that Danya's real?
I'm gonna fly her out here myself.
I'm gonna put her up in a fancy bed and breakfast.
I'm gonna seduce her with fine dinners that I pay for.
And it's gonna be magic.
Now if you'll excuse me...
I gotta wash off the sight of that.
Andy!
Fuck yeah!
Andy?
- Victoria. Hey, looking good out there. - Thanks.
You know, Gabby told me that you were giving private lessons.
$150 an hour. Is that right?
- You mean a full lesson? - Yeah. A full lesson.
- Tomorrow at 4:00 okay? - Is it... I...
My schedule is open. I can do it.
- I can do it tomorrow. I can... - My address is on the call sheet.
What?
Oh, you're so much hotter than my mom!
Yeah.
And this.
Mme. Bissonnette
And this please.
Open that pretty mouth.
Another hole in one.
Can you please stop using qigong to influence the ball.
This isn't fun for us.
Andy, qigong isn't something I can just turn on and off, man.
All right. I'm gonna try my hand at this.
Oh, stop traffic.
- Yes. - Oh, my.
Thank you.
Did you guys pay a hot girl to follow you around?
Great strategy. Seriously.
- I think that's Nora Sullivan, dude. - Yes, my name I'm Nora.
Holy shit, you're right.
Way to get in early, guys. Seriously, I like the strategy.
Hey. Honestly.
- Are you sexually active? - That's so offensive. I just...
You know what? And also, you guys never talked to us before...
so you don't really get to start now. Can you just fuck off?
- All right, Nora. - Wow.
All right. I thought she was quiet. It's cool.
Okay. All right. We'll catch you guys on the last hole.
All right? We'll fuck off for now. Be back later.
Bye.
I hate those guys.
How do they not know people like us now?
Hey, man, it's just different circles.
Hey, speaking of different circles...
- now how is that Erland doing? - Erland?
Erland. Does he have talents aside from being handsome?
He tries to write pop songs.
Oh, no, Australians do have a natural sense of rhythm.
Look, he's 30. You're 18.
He's not with you 'cause he wants you to edit his post doctoral thesis.
Pretty sure that you and I discussing
my relationship is none of your business.
- Relationship? It's a relation? - Yes. Yes.
- Is he your boyfriend? - Yup. Yup.
- He's my boyfriend. - There's no way he's your boyfriend.
I'm done with mini golf, so I'll just wait in the car for you guys.
Is that cool? So...
Nora.
Are you serious?
You're calling her out on the age difference?
Yo, Lion, Andy here has been having sex...
with older women from the club for money.
Holy tits. You're a hooker? Pound that shit.
I'm not... Thank you. I'm not a hooker.
I'm getting some experience and I'm teaching them lessons.
Dude, they're not lessons.
God!
They're technically lessons.
Please don't be a catfish.
Nora...
Dora...
Laura...
Are you just rhyming my name with other girls' names?
Have you tried to rhyme your name?
Girls' names are all there are.
Something on your mind?
I got into a fight with a friend at mini golf. It was bad.
You wanna do something to get it out of your head?
Well, what are you thinking?
- The world behind the curtains. - This is so cool.
And here is the autonomous underwater vehicle Fetch.
- Fetch. - Center point of our research.
Collector of biological data on specimens ranging from Elkhorn Coral...
in the Netherlands Antilles through to the fur seal populations...
in the Shetland Islands of Antarctica.
And black hydrothermal smoker vents in the Galapagos.
That's correct, yeah.
And black smoker hydrothermal vents.
These things are worth like a quarter of a million dollars apiece.
Ten more years of education and maybe I'll feel like...
I actually deserve to be in here.
This is a robotics lab. Are you joking?
No.
Are you my boyfriend?
- God, come on, Nora. - Are you?
Yes. Yes. Of course I'm your boyfriend, Nora.
I care about you.
- Do you? - I do.
- How much? - I... have this.
- Oh my god... - Okay. But you got to admit
you would have a virginity story better than any of your friends, right?
Who the hell says that I'm a virgin?
Clearly you've never been to a National High School Leaders
of Tomorrow conference.
Yeah, clearly I haven't.
- What's the matter? - Nothing.
- It's just girl stuff. - Client?
You understand I'm not a prostitute, right?
I'm going to Dartmouth.
Well, then you should have waited to start your career...
as a sex worker until you got to New Hampshire.
No state income tax.
What, you think I have to declare this?
Gabby, I'm home.
- Oh my god, you have to go! - Is that?
- Go! Go that way now. - My clothes are in the...
I don't care. My husband's gonna walk in this...
- Go! Go! You're killing me. - I know.
Don't you look handsome.
Stupid! So stupid. You are so stupid.
You are an idiot. You're dumb.
No. No, no, no.
They've made some great additions to this course.
It's challenging, but fun.
They also have Go Karts at this place now.
Thank you for this blanket, by the way.
Yeah, just make sure it's all the way between you and the seat.
Golden boy.
What are you in for, naked insider trading or something?
Hey, numbers in the nude?
Calculus with your cock-ulus?
It's great to see you, Plymouth Rock.
Why is he making fun of you? You know about math?
A little bit.
Can I ask you something?
Sure. You have me under arrest.
Taking out a mortgage.
These numbers just don't seem to add up.
I'm not a banker, but I can take a look.
Okay, so, that's it. So the problem here is that...
this number here is based on a 30-year amortization...
- when you wanted a 20, right? - Right.
Your instincts were right. This is a clerical error. It blew it.
Hey, thank you, man.
You probably saved me a ton of money.
Well, you have good reason to be upset at your lender.
Now, does this maybe change things...
in terms of the naked in the car situation?
What? No.
I already wrote it up.
You know you can't just drive around town...
showing your ass like that, right? You know that?
You know, I do you a favor, you do me a favor.
- Like I rub your back, you rub mine. - Okay, I did not rub anything.
I had a scorecard there.
I mean, maybe you saw the outline of things...
- but that's all I had. - That's enough. The outline is enough.
Don't show that too tall ass around here again.
Hey, Yaco. Salvatore. What's up?
Heard about your driving incident.
Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. It was just a dare gone wrong.
Oh. Gabby dared you to flee from her house naked?
How do you know?
I too am fucking Gabby. For many years now.
Oh, the things she does with her pinky. I know all about this.
- As do I! - No!
And now you start doing the same. And you almost get caught.
If you get caught
suspicion falls on all the pros at the club, does it not?
Such sloppy behavior we cannot risk.
No more sleeping with the women. You will ruin everything.
Keep your beef and the chorizos somewhere else, pelotudo.
You can't tell me where to put my chorizo.
- I can. - It's my chorizo to...
Stop giving private lessons or you are fired.
You were my apostle.
- Little did I know that apostle was Judas. - What?
And you betray me not with a kiss, but a fuck! What the fuck?!
Yaco.
- Andiamos, Salvatore. - Salvatore, you get it.
- No! - Salvatore!
Salvatore.
Did you find going to public school
a disadvantage for your college application?
You know, Tins, honestly, if you're smart enough...
it doesn't really matter where you come from.
You know...
Don't worry. I got the goods in here.
- Let's go. - Yeah.
Wow. MIT and drugs.
He'll probably solve cold fusion his freshman year.
- Probably. - Yeah.
Pretty sure you don't know Lion well enough...
- to weigh in on what he's gonna do. - Andy, what are you doing?
Yeah, we're all going to college pretty soon.
What do you got going?
Maybe, isn't there a kangaroo helicopter with like didgeridoo blades...
that can come grab you and haul you back to Australia...
so you're not in my face every moment of the rest of the summer.
You know what, Andy, I'm sure there is.
You see, kangaroo helicopters with didgeridoo blades...
they tend to break down pretty easily, so.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're funny, man.
I can't stand you.
- One I'm just I'm so... can you... - That's cool.
I like you.
- 30 year old. - Andy!
- I'm gonna fight with a damn. - I'm speaking to you, Andy!
Totally fucking unacceptable!
What is wrong with you lately?
- I'll go apologize. - That's not what I want.
I want you to tell me what is going on right now.
There's three weeks left of summer.
And I don't want to share that time with Erland.
- Well, his name is Erland. - Whatever.
- And he's not even around that much. - He's around whenever you're around.
- He's my boyfriend. - Right.
Whoa!
- Why are you like trying to ruin this for me? - I'm not trying...
- Why did you do that? Why are... - What did I do?
- Just tell me what I did. What did I do? - You got a guy. You're all lovey-dovey.
You're some kind of type of person you never were before.
You're blossoming right now
and you're not supposed to blossom right now.
I'm sorry, but it should be us together.
Okay.
I had no clue that you felt this way.
How do you feel this way about me?
I don't know. I don't know. I just do.
That would be really weird.
- No it wouldn't. - Yeah, yes it would.
- It doesn't have to be. - Yeah, no. How does..
See, that's what I'm trying to tell you. See? Okay.
Come here. Come here. Let me try something else.
Come here. Can you come closer.
- I want you to fuck me. - What?
- I want you to fuck me. - Stop!
Okay, then why don't you try. You say something dirty to me.
- Try. - Finger me.
- No. Finger you. - Finger... Okay. Alright.
- I will... - There you go. That's exactly...
- So, we know each other too well. - Okay, okay, okay.
Yeah, you've proven your point.
I feel so weird.
I'm sorry.
Whatever.
Like, there's a beach full of girls that think you're really cool...
for whatever reason and only I know the truth.
So let's just... I forgot already. Didn't happen...
and it's never gonna happen.
So let's just forget about it.
- Hold on. - What? Who is it?
It's private tennis lesson. I'm on call.
What do you mean you're on-you're gonna do a private lesson when you're...?
You've been drinking.
I agree, it isn't entirely professional.
Does this have something to do with why you've been driving around naked?
You whore.
So the Lion has gone full blown crazy.
Yeah. He taught me the quivering hand technique...
with his palm, you know?
- The Touch of Death? - Yeah. Touch of Death.
Seems irresponsible.
I mean, he was high when he told me about it.
No, no, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Just watch that thing.
- Easy does it. - Funny, man.
Hey, Erland.
Let's have a chat. I am sorry about earlier.
You're an ass, Andy.
Maybe I have been recently, but if you hurt her...
- I will kill you. - Okay.
Come on.
Nailed it.
I don't think he's coming back either.
Hello?
Hi, Diana. You know what? Private lessons are over.
Okay. They're back on... and I will be there in 20 minutes.
- Thank you. - No. No. What?
I'm sorry...
a client just offered me $1,000 for a lesson.
A lesson? A client, dude.
You don't even have your tennis racket with you.
Listen to yourself.
What the hell's happening with my friends this summer?
It's like I'm the only one that's being me.
- It's me. - It's the last one and I'm out.
Okay, so one last big gig before retirement.
That's real mature. I'm sure that's what they all say.
What are you doing?
Dude!
Diana!
Hello?
- Diana! - Andy?
Conch, what are you doing?
What you...? Babysitting.
Someone let you babysit?
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Well, I've never seen you sober.
You think I do my job drunk? That's messed up, man.
Hey, get in here.
Sit, sit, sit, sit.
I'm gonna win today.
So, what are you doing here?
- I was at a party. - Yeah?
And I'm looking for a Diana.
Yeah, you mean Mrs. Bradfield? Yeah, she lives next door.
Weird person to be looking for in your current state.
Seriously?
Yo, this is Andy. We went to high school together.
Hello, child.
So, can't believe you were at a party.
You never came to our parties.
Do you know... we were never invited to his parties.
Nobody's ever invited.
They just show up. That's what a party is.
That doesn't really apply to us though.
Are you stupid? 'Cause nobody ever disliked you guys.
You guys are the ones who stayed away.
You exiled yourselves.
Hard truths.
Anyway, shake it off.
Listen, you should come to the Summer Dump party.
Yeah. And I know how important it is for you to feel special...
so you can be my honored guests.
Summer Dump?
I would love that. When is it?
Same time every year. Last weekend in August.
Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to babysitting.
Okay? I'm sure Diana's waiting for you.
Bro, you should have taken her to prom.
Seriously, given her age she could have chaperoned and been your date.
Come on, Andy, think about these things, man.
- Conch. - Yeah?
Dude, you're my friend now.
Bye.
Diana...
I'm not coming...
to fuck you.
Send.
Punch!
Throw a kick as you-Punch!
What is going...
Oh, what is going on?
What? Keep punching, guys.
Just keep doing your thing, man.
Punch.
Oh, man.
She's 18. Yes, 18.
Of course, you're not a replacement.
I want you in my bed.
And this weekend will be perfect. Yeah. Really?
Fuck.
- Hey, Andy, looking good. - Hey!
No. No, you look good. You do!
- Sit! - No!
We told you, Andy, no more sex!
Gabby's husband called asking if either of us had lost a headband.
Which he found in his bedroom.
Oh, that's where that one went.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Easy. Easy.
Look, look, let's form an alliance together. Let's work...
No. Such sloppiness has no place in the pro shop.
You're fired.
And if anyone else comes sniffing around here...
looking for the man who's been with their wives...
I will give them your name.
You flew too close to the sun, Judas.
The pussy sun.
- Salvatore. - No, Andy. Not today!
I called Yaco about it. Swore up and down it wasn't his.
It's a fact Yaco isn't into women.
He'd never touch your wife.
She's not into Italians so Salvatore's out.
Did you ask her about Andy?
The high school kid? No. Why?
Because when Victoria had too much to drink the other night...
she told me she slept with him.
I'll talk to the other guys. See what they know about it.
Thanks.
What happened this morning, guys?
Oh, nothing. Lion and I lost our jobs.
And Nora found out Erland's sleeping with somebody else, so.
Who knew that peyote would stay in my system for three days.
God, I'm so stupid to cut it that close, man.
Easy.
Guys, I'm done with drugs and alcohol.
Okay, a warrior needs his mind to be sharp.
At least the summer's almost over, so.
Almost.
- We got invited to Summer Dump. - Oh my god.
- Are you serious? - No way.
You're not...
You guys don't want to... You want to go?
No. No. I'm exhausted, you guys.
I vote that we just cut our losses.
No! Our group has been disintegrating this summer.
You two have been fighting each other.
You fried your brain and I've...
Not much has happened for me. I realize that.
Probably should have by now.
And I'm not too happy with my progression either, but...
this is the last time we're gonna be together like this.
So we're going to Summer Dump!
Okay.
Sorry.
It's a weird number.
- Hello? - Andy? It's Danya.
Danya. Hi.
I'm at the shuttle bus stop in Hyannis.
I got a Cape Air transfer from Boston.
You're at the shuttle bus stop?
You got my emails I was coming, right?
Oh, you didn't check your spam folder, did you?
Your email-of course I got your emails.
I'm gonna come get you. I'm gonna come right now.
- I'll be there in 10 minutes. - Okay, Andy. I'm excited.
Me too. Me too. Okay, bye.
So, Danya is real...
and she is here and I'm gonna go get her.
She just like showed up out of the blue?
Indians are spontaneous like that.
- Gandhi was pretty patient. - Shut up.
You know I'm coming, right? I have to see this.
Yeah, no, me too. 'Cause I can't go back to the lab, so.
I have work so I'll be staying here.
Good, yes, all of you stay here because you'll freak her out if you come.
The internet is awesome.
Okay.
Hi.
This is...
Oh, that's nice.
Oh my god.
She sees me.
Who are those people?
Oh, they came with the car.
You can't understand anything about the world...
if you don't read Amartya Sen's "Inequality Reexamined."
Okay, but I read "Development is Freedom."
That's just an appetizer for Inequality Reexamined.
You'll have to feed me dinner.
- Hey, you ever read Intuition-Sorry. - Lion.
Okay.
That should cover it.
Thank you.
Oh... Oh, yes.
Where did you get so much cash to pay for this place?
I'm a sperm donor.
You must be exhausted.
- I am so glad you're here. - Me too.
I have to go in there all of a sudden...
but I'm gonna come back here.
And then we're just never leaving.
- Okay? - Okay.
All right? I'll be right back.
Oh, god, fire!
Hot. Hot burn. Oh my god.
Something is wrong. Something is wrong.
Okay. So...
I have to go now. I have to go do something.
You're leaving?
It's nothing weird. I just gotta go.
, Okay? I'll be back.
Looks like you have a yeast infection.
- A yeast infection? - Men get yeast infections too.
Particularly if you're having a lot of intercourse...
and your immune system is suppressed.
Which would be case if you've been drinking a lot of alcohol.
- Oh my god. - Lucky for you...
it's curable with a 7-day course of treatment.
Any way we could speed that up?
Some women have success putting...
non-sweetened probiotic yogurt directly on the infection.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
This can't be. I've been very careful.
- You've been having a lot of sex, Andy. - I know.
Lay off sex for the next week and you'll be fine.
Lay off for the next week? I can't.
Yes, you can.
- Okay. - I got...
Can I pay for this visit in cash?
I don't want my parents to see my insurance, you know.
It's a paper trail thing.
You've had sex with 15 women in the past two months...
and you carry that kind of cash?
- Yes. - Who are you?
I don't even know anymore.
And you're certain she's not a spy sent to kill you or some shit, bro?
Going for a walk.
Andy! Andy, come in!
- I can't hear you. - What?
You can absolutely hear her, bro.
Can't hear you either.
I'm just craving it right now. I don't even...
If you want to know one thing about me
it's that I love yogurt.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. That's the one.
That's the one. I love this stuff. This is gonna do the trick.
No. Fuck it.
Yeah, yes.
Oh my gosh. My stomach is...
killing me from those clams.
Hey, where have you been? I've been calling you.
I've been looking for your dick under this microscope.
What?
I heard you.
I heard you talking to a girl on the phone...
the other day about how I was 18...
and you could use a replacement.
I believe that's how you put it.
Does that ring any bells? So can you just fuck off?
This is it.
- Alcohol's in here, right? - Yeah.
Identify yourselves.
Andy, Spice, Lion and Nora.
Who's the hot girl?
Nora. And Danya. Danya also.
Holy shit. It's the smart kids!
And have you come for precious metals
for your space laboratories?
We came to hang out.
You heard them! They want to hang.
And they have extra brain cells.
Find them and destroy them!
Conch!
- Hell, yeah! This is good. - Yeah.
- This is Danya. This is Danya. - How you doing?
She's from India. She came from India. Yeah.
- You got hot! - Thank you.
- You used to not be hot. - I know.
- But now you're hot. - Thank you. Thank you.
Hot.
Goddamnit, the palate on that is wrong. It's so wrong.
Let's see...
I like that...
This will fuck people up.
What are you doing with that punch?
I'm improving it. Here.
Try it.
It's great.
Andy Evans!
Recipient of the roll of distinction award.
Being this is your first Summer Dump...
this is your initiation for mattress wrestling!
- No, I'm doing that. - I'm not doing that, uh-uh.
The roll of distinction award is given to the student...
that best exemplifies the principles of academic excellence...
loyalty and service to the rest of the class.
Ring girls, prepare him.
To demonstrate those principles...
your champion Andy will be wrestling...
Plymouth Rock!
- Do you think you're smart? - What?
I said, do you think you're smart?
Not anymore I don't. Oh, no!
Come on, Andy, come on!
Okay, put him down.
- Put him down! - Okay.
Get up. Get the fuck up.
Get the fuck up now. Now.
Come on. Take it, Plymouth!
Andy! Andy! Andy! Andy! Andy! Andy!
Sorry, my hands are chapped.
- It's... - I do yard work.
Let's just keep going. Keep going.
You're doing me next, you know.
Release!
Hey, Lion.
You okay?
I came from India thinking...
it was going to be this romantic trip, but...
I don't think Andy even likes me.
I've been here a week and he hasn't touched me.
He hasn't touched you?
But you're so beautiful.
I mean, you're like Krishna's bride Radha.
You want to go somewhere and talk about this?
Aren't we talking about it somewhere now?
I mean, yeah, but there are...
other somewheres.
What is it?
I thought I sensed something.
Fuck it.
- My body gets so hot. - Tell the story.
I have zero muscles. I have zero muscles.
- Epic, dude. - Thank you. Thank you.
What?
Hi, Mom.
- Andy, where are you? - I am watching a movie.
- Time to eat your own dick, Andy. - I have to go.
I love you. I know you know that...
but I need to express it to you right now verbally before I die.
No guy has ever said that to me verbally before death.
How could anybody not love you.
Hey. Andy.
All right. I'll be honest.
I have conflicting thoughts about what has happened...
over the last couple months and I am sorry.
And if I were you guys, I would be just as mad.
I fucked your wives for god's sake.
But I got a yeast infection. That sucks. It really sucks.
Also, which one of you is Gabby's husband?
Gabby. Now Gabby does this thing with her pinky, right?
That hurts a lot. Feels good, but it hurts so much.
And I've had to ice most days of the summer.
I just want to say that also.
So I am a victim here as well. Right?
You're an idiot.
This has nothing to do with you.
Lion, you sure you want to do this?
Fuck yeah, bro.
This is totally justifiable use of force.
Lion!
In a mob, you gotta use the low Thai kicks.
- Lion! - This is about my wife.
I'm sorry, bro.
This is about my friend.
Oh my god!
Fuck yeah!
- You're my friend, bro. I got you. - You were amazing.
- I love you! I actually love you! - We did it!
- Holy shit, what the fuck! - Oh my god!
Holy shit, they're dead. I think they're all dead.
Oh my. Holy shit...
Hey, guys.
What'd I miss?
I mean, I don't even know where to start.
It has been the longest night. I think we gotta call it.
Okay, I'm chilling.
Why do you seem so relaxed?
You know what, I'm just feeling refreshed. You know?
- Release? - I've been released.
- Oh! You're the man. - Obviously.
- Congratulations. - Yes, there was a moment.
- I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud. - Hey.
Don't hide it. I already saw it.
Why would you hide it? Where would you hide it?
Wearing a sock as a shirt.
What the hell?
Who did this?
I did, sir.
- They deserve it? - They were trying to kill Andy.
- Too tall. - You remember me?
Absolutely. You got my mortgage situation fixed.
That means you got your arrest fixed.
- Really? - I'm all with it.
Hey, thank you. Thank you. I was drinking a beer.
Looks like there's nothing to see out here, right?
You kids want a ride?
In a cop car? That would be awesome.
- Let's go. - Okay.
- Absolutely. - Can you put on the sirens?
Yes! Legend!
- All right. - Reach out and get the...
Yup. That's it.
- Thanks, guys. - Hey, good luck at college, Andy.
Appreciate it.
Mom. Breathe. I'm okay.
The last few days...
I've never experienced anything like it.
I had no idea those positions had a use outside of karate.
- Visit me as soon as you can. - I'll shoot for winter break.
I'm planning on being a millionaire
near the end of the first semester anyway...
so we'll go somewhere nice.
They're actually pretty cute.
Bye, Andy! Good luck at university.
Thank you. Bye, Danya. Good luck at UCLA.
You're an ass.
Do you know how much it cost me to fly her over here...
and then you end up with her.
As the Japanese proverb goes...
What does that mean?
Luck exists in the leftovers.
- Bud. - Hey, you.
It's not fun.
Hey, thanks for saving my life.
Come on, Bro. You would have done the same for me.
- Love you. - Love you, man.
Kick ass summer, guys.
Yeah. Kinda sucks though. I'm gonna miss you guys a lot.
I'm gonna miss you guys too.
And that does suck, but we're gonna be okay.
You'd better make people call you Spice at Stanford.
I don't know, man.
- I think I'm gonna kick it off with Mike. - Mike?
See where it evolves from there, you know?
What's wrong with that?
Hey.
See you guys
Bye. Hey, I miss you guys already.
Love you.
Next time I'm gonna see you
you're gonna have a Dartmouth meathead beer gut.
Next time I see you, you'll be pregnant by a Kennedy.
Cool. We'll just hang around admiring each other's bellies.
- Love it. - Perfect.
Don't make any new friends at school, please.
- Okay. You either. - Deal.
I love you too.
I just didn't say it at that weird, evil steel mill.
You know, it was a bad setting.
Hey, Andy, head's up.
- Hey, Tinsley. - Hey.
Nicely done. Automatic.
Thanks. I'm Andy.
Hey.